It is no one's fault
Towards the end of 2008 Fr
Michael was diagnosed with motor neurone disease. Even for someone who has
spent the best part of his life reflecting on the human condition, Fr Michael
still struggles to make sense of his illness. In a series of articles he
reflects theologically on what it means to be ill.
Is
it fair that I should suffer from motor neurone disease? Indeed, is it not
reasonable for anyone diagnosed with a serious illness to claim that God is
unjust?
I
have often met a sense of outrage when visiting the sick. Those who are ill –
or, surprisingly, more often their close relatives – rail against the
unfairness and injustice. "Why should he
suffer with something like this? He's always lived the good life. He's never
done anyone any harm. It doesn't seem right that he should have to suffer in
this way. It's not fair"
I
have to confess, in my darker moments I have asked myself a similar question.
Throughout my life I have done my best to serve God faithfully. I have always
tried to avoid sin, and have asked God's forgiveness when I have significantly
failed. If motor neurone disease sometimes
feels like a punishment, does not Justice herself demand that it should be
visited upon the wicked?
In
truth, my dark thoughts have no justification. Fairness and justice have
nothing to do with my medical condition. There are three reasons for believing
this:
Firstly,
it is entirely false to claim that the world is divided into two distinct
groups: the good and the bad. While it is undoubtedly true that some people
seem to lead a 'better' life of others, we all fall short of moral perfection.
I do not feel that I can claim to be a 'better' person than anyone else, nor
can I claim that it would be more just for someone else to have motor neurone
disease than me. I could never say to anyone, "it should be you who has
MND rather than me."
Secondly,
the injustice of Jesus' suffering was far greater than mine. No one can claim
that Jesus was treated fairly by the authorities, his death sentence, the abuse
he suffered at the hands of the soldiers, his crucifixion. Jesus is the
exemplar; if we seek to follow him we cannot claim that life has to be fair.
Thirdly,
we can no longer believe (as our mediaeval forebears did) that all misfortunes
are a punishment. Medical science shows that to suffer from a disease is
(generally) a matter of chance. When I was diagnosed with motor neurone
disease, it carried with it no judgement on my state of morality. Although we
do not yet know the cause of MND, there is no suggestion that it is anything
other than a matter of chance.
I
have no right to be indignant about being ill. No one, least of all God, has
been unfair to me. I am not a victim of injustice. It is simply a matter of
fact: I suffer from motor neurone disease.
