Love and Faith

 

Towards the end of 2008 Fr Michael was diagnosed with motor neurone disease. Even for someone who has spent the best part of his life reflecting on the human condition, Fr Michael still struggles to make sense of his illness. In a series of articles he reflects theologically on what it means to be ill.

 

Love and faith have much in common. Just as you can fall in love, so the beginnings of faith can come suddenly and unexpectedly. And, just as for the survival of love it is necessary to work at it, so faith does not grow by itself. For us to have a mature faith, it must be nurtured, cherished and allowed to blossom.

 

When I was first diagnosed with motor neurone disease, I realised that my faith could easily wither, just as a loving relationship can die if it encounters problems. To suffer from a serious illness leads you to question whether God can be loving or, indeed, whether a loving God can exist at all.

 

At that time, it was as if I was standing at a crossroads. To turn to the left would be to deny the existence of God. To turn to the right would be to direct a vitriolic anger towards him, and to cut him out of my life. In the event, I decided to take the hardest road: to continue straight on and work out how I could accept my illness while at the same time maintaining faith in the existence of a loving God.

 

To my surprise, I found that it was easy to maintain a strong faith despite my illness. Far from destroying my faith, the increasing weakness of my body led to an increasing strength of faith.

 

Do not misunderstand me; I would far rather be fit and active as I was before. But as my MND has stripped away the things that once dominated by life – ambition, concern about my public image, a determination to be successful in what I do – I have found a deeper reliance on my faith and a greater awareness of the loving support of God.

 

I have felt no need to abandon my faith or to allow anger to dominate my relationship with God. Faith need not be destroyed by misfortune. Indeed, misfortune can lead to a deeper faith.

 

There is something else I have discovered: it is not simply (as I remarked to my opening sentence) that love and faith have something in common. At a deeper level, faith and love are the same thing – like two adjacent islands that merge beneath the sea and reveal themselves to be part of the same landmass. To grow in faith is to be more aware of the love of God. That is why faith should be nurtured and cherished.

 

Realising that has made all the difference.